I’m sure most of you this week received the government’s lovely attempt to look moderately like they were enforcing the moral will of the millions of people who think “Joe E Johns” is a witty title, by sending out a booklet outlining the government’s stance on drugs. The booklet outlines with a sense of self-rewarding glee the ridiculous amount of money the government has poured into a bonfire in their endless struggle against the evil drug menace! Hiring customs dogs, extra officers and prosecuting countless individuals who are guilty of as much a crime as your local pub. Throughout the booklet are many sections including one designed to update parents with the ‘drug lingo’ so that when you’re invading the privacy of your children you can know exactly what substance they choose to ingest, and punish them accordingly (There is no chart of appropriate punishment based on the substance class, but I assume a stern ‘no’ usually does the trick).
However, the greatest part of the booklet? The section:
How to tell if your child is using Illegal drugs
Symptoms of which include
- Minimal family contact
- Lack of enthusiasm or motivation
- Aggression
- Lack of interest in sporting activities
That’s right, you heard it here first. Every single child is a budding NRL wunderkind until the evil menace drugs take away their… INCLINATION TO ENGAGE IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITY!
I’m sorry, but I experience all of these behaviours on a regular basis and the only thing I’m guilty of having high levels of in my body at the moment is contempt.
Maybe that’ll warrant a booklet “Justifying specious and facile governmental propaganda to your children through systematic intellectual dishonesty”. Nah, too long, how about; “Lying to your kids, through beatings!”
Add New Comment
Viewing 2 Comments
Thanks. Your comment is awaiting approval by a moderator.
Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.
Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.
Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.
Add New Comment
Trackbacks
(Trackback URL)