Ultimate Science Team

Because fuck you, that's why.

Archive for category bacterium

We need a new plague

Jun 12

Posted by doubtingboris in Brain Dead, Cancer, Cronyism, Failure, Fucking Stupidity, bacterium | Comments

As you may or may not know, I’m not a fan of being out among the proles, and tonight reminded me why. I did have the chance to watch Edward Scissorhands, which was brilliant, and then venture to a near by restaurant for some excellent coffee. However in the process of paying the bill, a group formed behind me. A group of lets say, older women, who had obviously enjoyed their alcohol extensively thus far.

The remark that came out “Oh well I just hate all Virgos, no I really do”…. The raw stupidity kept spewing out like sewerage from a pipe, flowing freely from the polluted mind of this hideous person. Now it’s ok to hate people, but at least have some fucking balls about it and reason why. Don’t say you hate everyone in the world who was born between two sets of particular dates, as if it has real bearing on their personalities or reality. Seriously how can people “reason” like that…

Nor can I blame alcohol, its only fault in the process was allowing this person to think it would be a good idea to broadcast just how dumb they really were. But it made me wonder, how do these people get through life? How do they reach middle age when that is their thought process? How do they live with themselves?

More importantly, how do the rest of us live with them? What are you meant to say to that? I was paralysed by the wave of stupidity washing over my poor innocent ears, how do you come back from that? Please someone tell me, because I really need to know… Especially when these people are accompanied by idiot friends who AGREE with the statement.. Even if one of their party is a Virgo (yes, they had to try and deal with the awkwardness).

Prompt responses would be appreciated.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Parasites.

Feb 19

Posted by Justin in 4455600, Failure, Parasites, bacterium, lampreys, onanism, thalidomide | Comments

You are fully aware who you are. Watch in dazzling technicolour as all three hundred of you baying simpletons rush towards canberra tomorrow, all in line to be the first to fellate the new MP, the overlord of the Right. You all dream to yourselves a dazzling kaleidoscope of tongue lolling one-upmanship. Your own moronic aspirations so crushed in a delectable irony as you gently tongue the scrotum of the man who would be king. All of you lumpen masses crushing into hired cars running to the border to be the first to provide any number of services to those who would destroy you and crush you merely for fun. Your service is not recognised, it is not lauded, it is parodied, it is laughed aside.

Your willingness to sacrifice whatever fleeting morals or individualism you have grasped to yourself during the purges destroys whatever creduility you think raises you above the others. Your own desperate scramble to be the first individual to congratulate, to curry favour, to beg makes you all the more pathetic.

Yet as you vampiric scum ascend upon our nation’s capital, hell bent on treading in the footsteps of your new God, think carefully. For whatever aspersions you have about the purity and sacrosanct nature of democracy and the representative process, your own plebian machinations slowly putrify the actual representative nature of the precepts we hold so delectably self evident.

So while you prospectors sell both life and limb to sell your souls, think to yourselves for a second, what do you stand to gain? A mediocre salary in a thankless job where the public thinks you are out to fuck them again and again? Do not, even for a second, kid yourself into thinking politicians hold any power, because that is, if anything naievly and laughably false.

If you rush to the Capital tomorrow, by hook, or indeed as most of you will, by crook, think not of what you stand to gain. But what your own integrity stands to lose. You so grotesquely suckle at the teet of self aggrandising nothingness that only a nihilist would be incompetent enough to see power in the rorschach pattern that is the life you have condemned your own talents to.

- Dan (Who is not Justin) [It's funnier because I have far more money than all of you right wing puppets and I'm going to pay you to do my bidding, and fuck me if you're not going to like it.]

Popularity: 2% [?]

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