Archive for category Failure

For anyone who has faith in the holy men

Jun 21

Posted by doubtingboris in Epic Win, Failure, brilliant | Comments

A more humorous entry from Aug 2007. This is what I consider another “you’re wrecking your life” videos like tCaP, maybe not as funny.

And of course the news story that resulted. Search for “geoff baron” for more results.

I’d like to comment on the insane woman at the end, who seemed to ignore the wrongs committed by the priest in his battery of the teenagers, as well as a torrent of verbal abuse, sexually and racially charged, but knew absolutely that the teenagers had committed a crime.

Also the apparent $35k worth of damage (how thinks they pulled that number out of there arse) would be worth having the police enforce the rights of the land owners, no matter how corrupt those owners are. However yelling, hitting, and acting childish towards teenagers isn’t going to improve the situation. You will be considered a joke, and I hope this man is not returned to the church somewhere in the same vein as they did with all the child molesters.

But remember, this is an example of the moral high ground of the church. It’s right up there with their opposition of homosexuality, abortion, contraception, and stopping children being raped by priests.

Stay tuned for an angry amphetamine fueled rant about the affects of World Youth Day on your children.

Popularity: 1% [?]

4chan’s /b/ has gotten to me…..

Jun 19

Posted by doubtingboris in Coward, Failure, Fraud, Fucking Stupidity, Lulz, Morons | Comments

I’m Chris Hansen… Take a seat… We need to discuss something…

For so long I thought myself above the depravations of /b/, the sickness and especially the Schedenfreude. However it appears that I’m just as fucked as everyone else, and I guess that it must have slowly infecting me through my many years on the internets. That two-way connection is just as useful as it is deadly.

The topic of this post however will be focused on the power of To Catch A Predator. There is a lot to discuss, but I think the best part is the fact that it is a) fucking hilarious and b) engrossing television. I almost understand the appeal of Cops now, however tCaP has a superior appeal as it has all the hilarity of hick cops and drop kicks but with a side dish of the complete shattering of lives. The stigma of being a kiddy fiddling fucking drop kick does not wash off any time soon, regardless of whether they have actually broken laws.

But watching this series, sober at least, has raised a large number of questions.

The first to consider is whether this show is a valuable service helping to inform and deter, or a pointless fear mongering show. While it might inform some parents that there are dangers online, it definatly doesn’t deter as time after time the captured men say they’ve seen the show but turn up anyway. And there is limited exploration of why the problem is happening and what they’re doing about it, and instead focuses on the fact that pedos can get to your children.

The excuses the men give also aren’t explored, but I’ll just list some of them.

That they would talk them out of it
That they wouldn’t go through with it
That it was a brief lapse in judgement
That its the only time that they’ve done it
That its the victim’s fault

Most acknowledge however that they’re doing something morally wrong and illegal, though a few say they weren’t familiar that they’ve been committing felonies. Everyone seems to recognise that the actions they’re taking have the potential to ruin their fucking lives.

Whether it is a valid or legal technique is a subject of much debate. They avoid it being entrapment by having the Perverted Justice members be contacted, informing them straight up that they’re grossly underage and sooner or later the predator sends nude pictures of themselves (usually what they get prosecuted for). I don’t understand how they were allowed to broadcast the footage in their house, but I don’t know anything about media laws. And of course they’re being sued currently by the family members of the ADA who shot himself. But my question is whether such a thing could be developed in Australia? Might not solve problems, but it would at least earn us some lulz. However the problem might be finding a group who can type this badly (seriously PJ members must break their fucking fingers).

To break up the serious content, a list of the more amusing suspects. I assure you, I have not made these up, links will prove it.

A midget working for the military, with a past conviction of rape (here)
A guy caught twice, I really wish I was lying (here)
A cop with a broken caps lock key and an arsenal that would make cOmega impressed (here)
A prominent doctor in CA (here) and an emergency room doctor (here)
A rabbi (here)
Someone who does a head dive (here)
The Texan Assistant District Attorney who later killed himself (here)
A guy with cerebral palsy (here)
A guy who stole a fucking van to meet with the jail bait (here)
A guy who sounds like his balls haven’t dropped (here)
A guy working for the DHS (who’s surprised) (here)

And some large groups of people featured throughtout the series:

From various branches of the military, including Navy, Marines, Army Reservists, Air Force… These people are defending the country and are brought to their knees by jailbait
People who have seen the fucking program before, yet come anyway
More than enough teachers
And there was a good representation from the computing industry

And back to the serious programming.

Another question that enteres my mind, between bouts of me laughing my ass off at these people, is should I feel sorry for these people? See their actions and complete idoicy makes me think no, no they had it coming. But then I think that it isn’t just the jailtime they’re facing, its the fact that the rest of their lives are fucked, though in some cases they were already pretty fucked. But we’re also not really learning anything from simply laughing at their stupid actions and then throwing them in jail. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be punished, but at least we should learn from it so that we move from a reactive to a proactive position. Apparently the current prosecution model is not working due to the number of re-offendors, and the lack of monitoring under Megan’s Law, so that we need to develop our understanding.

There are lots more questions but this is already long enough, so a final few points.

gegan249 on youtube who has a amount of the program (here)
Doug Stanhope discusses whether it is really a problem (here)
Parody – About Bro Rape (here)
If you’ve never seen Hard Candy go watch it, its a great powerplay and really makes you think about justice and the burden of evidence
Kudos to the law enforcement officers, though sometimes heavy handed, are the community guardians of peace

All exams and no sleep make Maldark something, something…

Jun 13

Posted by Maldark in Binge Drinking, Brain Dead, Cancer, Cronyism, Drugs, Failure, Fucking Moonbats, brilliant, fantastic ideas | Comments

What my dreams would look like, if i had the time to sleep

boris is still a talentless hack.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Tags: if I only had a hammer, insomnia, my brain it burns, Satan, testicles

We need a new plague

Jun 12

Posted by doubtingboris in Brain Dead, Cancer, Cronyism, Failure, Fucking Stupidity, bacterium | Comments

As you may or may not know, I’m not a fan of being out among the proles, and tonight reminded me why. I did have the chance to watch Edward Scissorhands, which was brilliant, and then venture to a near by restaurant for some excellent coffee. However in the process of paying the bill, a group formed behind me. A group of lets say, older women, who had obviously enjoyed their alcohol extensively thus far.

The remark that came out “Oh well I just hate all Virgos, no I really do”…. The raw stupidity kept spewing out like sewerage from a pipe, flowing freely from the polluted mind of this hideous person. Now it’s ok to hate people, but at least have some fucking balls about it and reason why. Don’t say you hate everyone in the world who was born between two sets of particular dates, as if it has real bearing on their personalities or reality. Seriously how can people “reason” like that…

Nor can I blame alcohol, its only fault in the process was allowing this person to think it would be a good idea to broadcast just how dumb they really were. But it made me wonder, how do these people get through life? How do they reach middle age when that is their thought process? How do they live with themselves?

More importantly, how do the rest of us live with them? What are you meant to say to that? I was paralysed by the wave of stupidity washing over my poor innocent ears, how do you come back from that? Please someone tell me, because I really need to know… Especially when these people are accompanied by idiot friends who AGREE with the statement.. Even if one of their party is a Virgo (yes, they had to try and deal with the awkwardness).

Prompt responses would be appreciated.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Stephen Colbert, what have you done?

Apr 19

Posted by Schrodinger in Failure | Comments

Now you all know that any and all criticism of Stephen Colbert must be dealt with instantaneous through the judicious use of murder. Stephen Colbert is the greatest living human being, and the salvation of the human race. He is truly the most perfect man on the face of the planet, and lives as a testament to all that is good and great in society. He is a giant upon whose shoulders we should all stand.

It’s a saturday night, I don’t have any money, so what do I do? I turn to Stephen. I download the latest episode, crack open an Amber Ale and get ready for Stephen to rock my world. We hold that truth to be self-evident.

It all starts off great, firstly there’s STEPHEN AND HE’S ON TV (Squee) and he is talking to me and only me about everything the world needs to know.

But there’s a problem. His backdrop dies, and the following unfolds (I’ve taken this from the chicago tribune weblog):

Colbert opened his show with a technical glitch–his fancy high-tech digital backdrop featuring such scenes as the Liberty Bell and the Phillie Phanatic wouldn’t work and his electronics experts were all back in New York.

“Are you telling me, there’s no one in this theater to fix the mess we’re in?” Colbert asks his director, “Jimmy,” in providing an entrance line for Clinton to walk on stage.

“Let me handle this,” Clinton tells Colbert as the New York senator quizzes “Jimmy” about truly technical issues that would puzzle a member of the Geek Squad. “About the screen, are you using a digital or analog production truck?” was one of Clinton’s questions.

Finally she suggests “try toggling the input” and the electronic backdrop magically lights up.

Clinton then tells Colbert his “forehead is a little shiny” and she calls for a makeup assistant to provide some “translucent powder.”

“Wow Sen. Clinton, you’re so prepared for any situation. I just don’t know how to thank you enough,” Colbert responds.

“I just love solving problems,” Clinton tells him. “Call me anytime.”

“Really?” Colbert asks.

“Sure,” Clinton says. “Call me at 3 a.m.”

Now stephen (THAT LOWER CASE IS DELIBERATE) what the FUCK do you think you’re doing ruining my saturday night like that. Firstly this implies that you can’t fix EVERYTHING. You’re automatically reducing your status to that of a mere mortal.

And then you have her on. That lying twisted sack of shit neo-con that is lying to us all goddamn it can’t we all see through her fucking unconvincing goddamn populist smile. STEPHEN YOU FELL FOR IT YOU BASTARD.

YOU FELL FOR IT AND NOW SHE’LL KILL US ALL. You have exposed the Colbert Nation to Hillaby Climton. You inflicted her upon your unwilling flock and now we’re all dead.

You fell for bittergate and sniper fire and all manner of flag pin waving nonsense and you swallowed down her bullshit one and all. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STEPHEN WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME

I LOVE YOU. YET YOU DO THIS TO ME.

You sir, you have raised her lies to the level of truthiness. She should be number one on the threatdown list. She tricked you, sir. She tricked you.

Now we’re all fucked.

Why… Stephen? Why?

The bell tolls for our love, Stephen.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Tags: Hillary Clinton, I CAN'T EXPLAIN ALL THESE EMOTIONS, Stephen broke my fucking heart, Stephen Colbert, WE LOVE YOU AND YOU DO THIS TO US, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, why did you do this stephen, WHY STEPHEN WHY

Parasites.

Feb 19

Posted by Justin in 4455600, Failure, Parasites, bacterium, lampreys, onanism, thalidomide | Comments

You are fully aware who you are. Watch in dazzling technicolour as all three hundred of you baying simpletons rush towards canberra tomorrow, all in line to be the first to fellate the new MP, the overlord of the Right. You all dream to yourselves a dazzling kaleidoscope of tongue lolling one-upmanship. Your own moronic aspirations so crushed in a delectable irony as you gently tongue the scrotum of the man who would be king. All of you lumpen masses crushing into hired cars running to the border to be the first to provide any number of services to those who would destroy you and crush you merely for fun. Your service is not recognised, it is not lauded, it is parodied, it is laughed aside.

Your willingness to sacrifice whatever fleeting morals or individualism you have grasped to yourself during the purges destroys whatever creduility you think raises you above the others. Your own desperate scramble to be the first individual to congratulate, to curry favour, to beg makes you all the more pathetic.

Yet as you vampiric scum ascend upon our nation’s capital, hell bent on treading in the footsteps of your new God, think carefully. For whatever aspersions you have about the purity and sacrosanct nature of democracy and the representative process, your own plebian machinations slowly putrify the actual representative nature of the precepts we hold so delectably self evident.

So while you prospectors sell both life and limb to sell your souls, think to yourselves for a second, what do you stand to gain? A mediocre salary in a thankless job where the public thinks you are out to fuck them again and again? Do not, even for a second, kid yourself into thinking politicians hold any power, because that is, if anything naievly and laughably false.

If you rush to the Capital tomorrow, by hook, or indeed as most of you will, by crook, think not of what you stand to gain. But what your own integrity stands to lose. You so grotesquely suckle at the teet of self aggrandising nothingness that only a nihilist would be incompetent enough to see power in the rorschach pattern that is the life you have condemned your own talents to.

- Dan (Who is not Justin) [It's funnier because I have far more money than all of you right wing puppets and I'm going to pay you to do my bidding, and fuck me if you're not going to like it.]

Popularity: 1% [?]

Ultimate Science Team

Fuck cops.